The week before Christmas, we dropped Emmett off at Matt's mum's and drove to
a nice little town - the name of which completely escapes me - where I took my Life in UK test.
I'd been cramming for a week or two - taking test quizzes and going over my flash cards whenever I had a moment. I felt fairly confident but had to stop in Boots for something to cure my nervous heartburn.
The test questions are a mixed bag of difficult things like how the government is structured to ridiculous questions like what holiday is on February 14th. Seriously. I can only remember one of my questions and it asked what time pubs without special licenses were supposed to close. You know, because knowing they close at eleven pm is incredibly important and proves that you're British. Ridiculous.
Anyhow, I passed, thankfully, and spent all day on December 23rd gathering the dozens of things the settlement application requires, including filling out my debit card information so that they could charge me an outrageous fee of £972. Ouch. Strangely, there's nothing on the application about any children you and your partner might have. They want mail addressed to you over the two years you've resided together to prove you live under the same roof but nothing about the flesh and blood that proves you're not a green card couple. So I included some family photos, Emmett's birth certificate and a letter.
I packaged it all up along with our passports (yikes), mailed it off, came home and opened a bottle of Buck's Fizz (like a mimosa). Now we have to wait for up to six months for the verdict. I'm not too worried but it is quite scary....
I've actually been doing a bit of crocheting recently. It's simple and mindless but that's what I need since it gets picked up and put down several times a day.
It's a racetrack rug (Ravelry Link) for Emmett's first birthday. I'm pretty damned proud of myself because I had the feeling when I started it that there was no way I could stick with it. Five thousand plus single crochets later and I'm halfway through the road with only the one row of loopy grass and two green rows to go after that!
I'm also going to crochet a couple of cars to go with it using the Steve the Car (Ravelry Link) pattern, minus the buttons for eyes and hubcaps. I think he'll be old enough to play with it at one year old. If not, it'll keep!
I started it at knit group during my very last minute trip to Ohio last month. Last minute as in "bought a ticket on Thursday, left on Friday". It was expensive and stupid but things were bad and I needed to go. Travelling alone with Emmett wasn't as hard as I expected it to be but I can say I will never, ever fly through O'Hare again. That was a nightmare. NIGHT. MARE.
Unfortunately, I managed to leave without downloading Dad's photos and I used his camera for the most part since I didn't travel with the laptop and couldn't download from my camera to his laptop without buying an SD card reader. I did end up with photos from our trip to the Columbus Zoo, though.
This kid loves to eat and he really enjoyed his first Dippin Dots experience!
This is my favorite part of going to the zoo - feeding the lorikeets.
He really enjoyed playing on a blanket in Granny and Paw Paw's backyard. He can't go five minutes without climbing into Mommy's lap when I'm around but since I was inside, he played on his own for over an hour!
I miss the sleeveless weather. Here it's the end of July and most days I'm in jeans and a jacket. I know it's in the nineties in Ohio and that's not ideal but I'd gladly trade temperatures for a least a day or two.
We took Emmett to the beach at the end of last month...in sweatershirts and long pants. He loved it, though.
The Ohio trip did help with the depression and homesickness...for a bit. England and I are having a hard time learning to love one another. I'm trying, though. Each day is a little battle - thank goodness for my blue-eyed men.
I'll end this ridiculously long, Emmett photo filled update with a bit of book. My friend Delly sent me a link to this article about the Song of Ice and Fire/Game of Thrones books. I watched the first couple of episiodes of the series based on the first book but even though I really enjoyed it, I couldn't keep up. Babies do that. I wasn't sure I would really enjoy the books, though - I was afraid thay might be...too sci-fi fantasy to put it simply. When I read the words "historical fiction" in the article, though, I was sold and walked into town immediately to buy it. I'm a mere (the first book is over 700 pages, after all) two hundred pages in and already look forward to picking it up every time I have to put it down. I find the characters a little unweildy and have to consult the appendix every once in awhile but I'm really enjoying it and am thinking about taking advantage of Waterstones 3 for 2 sale to get the next three in the series....
I just spent an hour or two talking to my grannies for the first time, I think, since Christmas. I've been terrible about keeping in touch with anyone (save my parents - we have an almost weekly video chat with them) and I finally figured out today why that is. Talking to people from home just reminds me that much more that I'm not there.
I had a surprisingly good grip on my homesickness during the Christmas season and I thought maybe I had seen the last of the worst of it but, no. It still shows up occasionally. Sneaks up, really, and I find myself in tears during something as mundane as a walk around the cathedral, thinking how much I'd like to be back in Ohio.
Because of these sneaky feelings, talking to my grannies is kind of like going to the gym. I dread the way I'll feel before I call them and am even a little sad while talking to them but it leaves me feeling pretty good. And it's really nice to hear the excitement in Granny Creva's voice when she says, "Am I talking to who I think I'm talking to?"
It'll get better and it is better some days but...it's really hard. I miss my family and my friends. I miss American restaurants and shops that are open past five-thirty. Thank goodness I have a supportive husband whom I love very much or I'd be a mess. So far - knock on wood - the married part of life has been easy, wonderful and a million other positive adjectives. It's just the living in another country that's hard.
Sigh, enough of that.
~~~~~
I'm knitting a sock! Actually this isn't an entirely new concept. I've probably mentioned that I've knitted two other socks before - socks who will never find their mates - but this time I'm determined to cast on for the second straight away. Granted, I haven't actually finished the first yet - just another inch and a half to go - but I'm going to hang on to that determination. I really want to be a sock knitter.
Lots of painting and rearranging going on around here in preparation for my parents' visit in a month and a few days. I did something in the sitting room tonight that I'm going to ask for opinions on tomorrow (it was too dark to take photos by the time I'd finished). I like it but ...it could also be thought of as just messy or maybe even as a shocking abomination. Ah the suspense....
Yesterday was Date Wednesday so we drove to Alresford where we hadn't been since my very first visit. They have a great coffee shop there called Caracoli and it was - along with a couple of shops and a creepy bookstore - the reason we decided to spend the afternoon there. Their hot chocolates are very artistic.
I'll never tire of taking photos of things I eat and drink.
Can I have a number one, large, with cheese and everything but onion and tomato with a diet Coke, please?
I was kind of picky when it came to fast food restaurants even when I lived in the states - Wendy's, Burger King and the occasional Taco Bell - but hadn't had any since I moved to Salisbury. Out of the corner of my eye, I would peer into the windows of Burger King as we walked by, wondering if it would be as different as, say, the Doritos I keep harping on about (odd but edible). I was afraid to try it - searching for something familiar, only to be disappointed. Recently, though, I'd started thinking a little more seriously about giving it a try and when we woke up late on Monday and had a huge list of things to do in town, I suggested that we have a BK burger and fries for lunch.
It's pretty much the same except that mayonnaise is a little different here and there was a lot of it so I'll hold the mayo next time. Ketchup is sweeter, too, but I'm used to that. It felt really good to eat something that was almost familiar and, strangely, I loved the feel of that universal wax cup in my hand. I love fountain diet Cokes and missed them since also hadn't had one of those since I got here. All in all I think it was the best trip to BK ever. Also, though, the most expensive as the cost converts to about eleven dollars for my meal alone. Hard to think of BK as a treat but it's not eleven-dollar-once-a- week good, that's for sure.
After lunch Matt and I walked over to Waterstone's because I wanted to see if they had a copy of Virginia Woolfe's Selected Diaries in stock (they didn't). As we were browsing I heard an older gentleman at the counter asking about Patrick O'Brian - author of the Master and Commander series and Matt's favorite - which I thought was really funny since we had just had a long conversation about his books over lunch. I wondered if Matt had heard and, sure enough, when I wandered over that way, there was the gentleman, a bookseller and Matt. It turns out the man had recently lost his wife and a friend and recommended the series to him as a way to way to occupy his mind and deal with the grief. I stayed out of the way but as the man walked to the cash register with the first book I heard him exclaim, "How amazing! That chap knew all about them!" It was really touching and I hope he's enjoying the book.
Three things I would not have said in any seriousness a year ago but can say honestly now:
It's five-thirty on a Friday night and I just put a whole chicken in the oven to roast.
I had a serious conversation with Matt a few minutes ago about a class on beekeeping that I read about in a cooking magazine and would like to maybe take when we buy a house.
We stopped in WHSmith while in town this afternoon and I was thrilled to find a new issue of Country Living.
(Pardon the terrible photo - I can't wait for the days to get longer)
New Country Living Issue Day makes me ridiculously happy. A quick flip through and - look - there's even a little article on knitting!
Now if I could curl up with a cat, a cup of tea and this magazine. The cat and, obviously, the magazine are doable but, unfortunately, the weather has made milk a scarce commodity. We could only find skim the night before we got the snow and not only does skim not make a very good cup of tea but we're almost out of that, too. M&S is still milk-less so we have our fingers crossed that we'll be able to find some tomorrow.
I wanted to write a happy post about how pretty our tree looks now that it's finally decorated and share photos of the gingerbread men that I baked the other night that I'm going to decorate this afternoon...and then the mail came.
Wonderfully, there was a sweet Christmas card from my granny and a birthday card for Matt...and a letter letting us know that the box of Christmas presents from my parents was being held by Revenue & Customs until we paid £20 in taxes and a £8 fee.
Taxes on Christmas presents? Seriously? It's one thing to have to pay taxes here on an item purchased from a company in the US (not that I agree with that either, really, but I knew it was a rule) because, even if it's something that was unavailable to purchase in the UK (which would be the only sane reason to pay shipping on something anyway), I might be taking money out of someone's pocket here...but Christmas presents from my parents?
Shame, shame, shame....
Christmas is trying to work its way in around here but its having a hard time of it. We packed up a box of gifts for my brother and parents and shipped it out on Tuesday which reminded me again that I won't be in Ohio for Christmas. I was able to do the shopping and wrapping with my brain shut off but sending it off just brought it all back. I put all of my Christmas music in a playlist today so that I can add it to my iPod again and I'm thinking dear, sweet Bing's "I'll Be Home for Christmas" just might have to be left off this year.
I did get the tree up and decorated. Granted, I fell over a couple of nights later. Thankfully only one ornament was damaged and even it can be repaired and the cat that I suspect might have been lingering beneath the tree when it toppled fled upstairs and stayed there for quite some time.
Sadly, I haven't had the heart to redecorate it. I really meant to go at it with Christmas carols and a mug of hot chocolate this afternoon but...the ornaments are still in baskets sitting on the couch. There are a few decorations in the conservatory as well, including a miniature tree, but they're not officially out and the tree is bare. I did watch the first two episodes online of Kirstie's Homemade Christmas that I'd missed so that I could watch the last here in about fifteen minutes and was hoping I'd feel myself sinking into the Christmas spirit. Nope. Perhaps it's time to pull out the big guns and watch Elf or The Christmas Story. Matt's never seen The Christmas Story so I'm really looking forward to watching it with him - maybe this weekend.
I've been doing a lot of knitting and crocheting for Christmas that I'd like to share but I'm running out of time and I really would like to have a cup of that hot chocolate I mentioned a few minutes ago so I'll just share my favorite - a bear for my mom.
This is my first knitted toy and I'm really happy with it. Rebecca Danger's patterns are cute and easy to follow - and I already have a couple of others in mind that I'd like to knit up - especially this guy.
Herman the Enigmatic Bear knitted with Rowan Alpaca Cotton.
And now I'm off to chase the spirit a little bit more....
I had originally taken this mediocre photo for Wordless Wednesday but found it hard to post without explanation. This is our tiny upstairs half-bath which sits next to our bedroom on the second floor. We have grand ideas for it but currently it's just functional and there's a large patch of destroyed wall and exposed pipe above the toilet where they were looking for a leak.
The Keep Calm poster came free in a newspaper and has been hanging around the flat since my visit last November. I found it in a desk drawer a few weeks ago and decided it would be a nice reminder as I walk up the steps and into the bedroom.
These days it seems I need to be reminded a little more often....The other day fellow ex-pat, Phoe, kindly sent me a link to an online, UK based store that sells hard to find American groceries. Strangely, just a few hours earlier, Matt and I had been discussing Thanksgiving and I was saying I was pretty sure I wouldn't be able to find canned pumpkin. I don't know how they make pumpkin pie here or if the whole UK has something against it (gasp) but pumpkin pie - my mother's pumpkin pie anyway - is one of my very favorite desserts. I'd rather have it than birthday cake - birthday cake from Taste of Elegance/ele Cake Co. even (although it's a close tie). Thanksgiving is not Thanksgiving without pumpkin pie - even if it's a Thanksgiving that's being celebrated in a country that doesn't have Thanksgiving.
Anyone that might be trailing us on a trip to Tesco knows that Matt and I are serious impulse shoppers so within minutes of perusing the website, we placed an order that arrived this morning (before I'd even had a chance to shower - I hate that).
We can now have pumpkin pie for Thanksgiving (and Christmas)! We also ordered some barbecue sauce to make barbecue chicken pizzas because the sauce here is just too sweet. It's not our favorite flavor but it is our favorite brand so I know it'll be good. The Jello Instant Pudding is the not-so-secret ingredient in my chocolate chip cookie recipe. Each batch takes a box but I think I may stretch it and use a half box for each. The Junior Mints are just because I miss Junior Mints (even though After Eights are pretty close) and the candies are some UK sweets they threw in which is, um, sweet.
All this talk of the holidays, along with the Christmas decorations that are popping up everywhere, is really Getting Me Down. I checked ticket prices to go home for Thanksgiving the other day and they were reasonable enough (although,only two or three days later, they've already gone up £25) but I just didn't think it was a good idea for me to go home. I've spoken the words "I might not come back" out loud without entirely meaning them but still meaning them a little bit. I'm having a lot of trouble and a lot of that feeling is because I didn't take the decision to move here as seriously as I should. Not that I wouldn't have done it anyway, I would (most likely), but I would have realized how important it was to give up my family and everything I've known for the past 35 years. I spent the entire summer with this vague feeling that this was all happening to someone else (that's the only way I can explain how easy it was) but now I'm painfully aware that it was me all along. Don't get me wrong, living here isn't "a jail sentence," as Matt kind of joked the other night as we talked about going home for Thanksgiving, it just isn't home yet.
This topic of going home for Thanksgiving only came up because we're not going to Ohio for Christmas. It was insanely expensive to ship my cats so it's just not possible this year. This fact crushes me and is the reason I'm having so much trouble. I think I'd be in a better state if I'd had more time to get used to my new life in general without having the most family oriented holiday come up within first few months. I know eventually you have to start your own family and your own traditions but, after waking up at my parents' house (my house for a lot of those years) for 35 Christmases, waking up in an entirely different country, knowing that I'll only see my family on a video chat...I can't even think about it without fighting off tears or downright sobbing.
That said, I should probably stop trying to ruin an otherwise perfectly good Friday, take a nice hot shower and start prepping the conservatory for the light but bright yellow paint we bought on Wednesday. We'll give it a couple of coats tomorrow, finally unpack some of my decor and make it a nice cozy room in which to have a Thanksgiving dinner for two.
I had my first strong "What have I done?!" day today. Not in a bad way, just in a very homesick kind of way. In the morning, Matt suggested we go to Stourhead since the weather was amazing and I suggested Longleat since it closes in a few weeks and I haven't been there before. The little gray cloud lingering over my head, though, kept telling me to crawl back into bed and cover my head with the duvet. If it had been a work day for Matt, that's probably what I would have done.
By the time I made the banana bread I'd obsessively woken up wanting to make (four over ripe bananas had been staring at me for several days), it was kind of too late to do the zoo or Stourhead so we actually ended up packing a bag of knitting, books, iPods and journals and driving not too far away to Stockbridge to shop a little bit with the idea of eventually finding a cafe to relax in for a bit. That never really came to fruition but it was still a nice day. Sure, I nearly burst into tears at Maison Blanc, a cafe in Winchester, but you'll have that. Part of me was yearning to sit in an American restaurant - not a cafe. In fact, we walked into a Costa and I had to admit I couldn't do Costa again and I love Costa. Thankfully, I could at least have a cold diet Coke at Maison Blanc. Finding a Cath Kidston shop wasn't too painful either and I picked up a really cute set of note cards. There's something about living here that makes me want to send out real mail. If you're interested in getting a little card from me and I don't already have your address - 'cause you lot are already going to get mail from me and a few of you already have something on the way - send it to me at sushichickATgmailDOTcom and eventually I'll send you a line or two. :)
Anyway, being out and about was probably better than sulking at home but, at the same time, it really reminded me how different things are here. My mood certainly perked up a little bit when we got back because once you've decided a place is home, it's home - even though I have days where even being here with all the boxes is overwhelming. Of course, baking cookies and opening a bottle of wine didn't hurt either. Yes, banana bread and cookies in one day. The looming PMS wasn't really doing me any favors.
I know it'll take awhile before days like this are non-existent. And I'm sure tomorrow will be much better. I'm really looking forward to Thursday, too, as fellow Raveler, Squiblet, has offered to meet up with me for some tea, wandering, knitting or whatever. I love my husband and the fact that we actually live in the same country now but it'll still be great to have a little girl time.
I had a post ready for today full of photos from our drive through the New Forest yesterday but my mood just didn't match and I want to "keep it real, yo." This blog is about learning to live in a new country, after all and it's not all days out exploring and fun - it's hard. I miss my friends and family. I could even really do with a Buddy hug right now, to tell you the truth (why does that, of all things I've thought about while writing this post, make tears well up in my eyes, for Pete's sake?). I miss the way things have always been and where and how I've lived for the past 35 years. It's almost like being at home some times - a nudge away - but also just not like home at all. I have to make myself deal with it, though, by being aware of it, talking about it, having an understanding husband and knowing that it won't hurt like this all the time.
And nothing beats a good night's sleep (and maybe one last glass of wine)....