Viking Tea Party

Airplane Ticket Home for Thanksgiving: $727 Understanding Husband: Priceless

If I had been five years old this morning rather than thirty-five, I might have laid down on the floor and thrown a fit.  Arms swinging and legs kicking and screaming through tears, "I want to go home!"

But I'm thirty-five so I had to settle with sulking crankiness and a few tears that welled up but never quite escaped.

In the shower I drew a vertical line in my mind and started a list of Pros and Cons with both words written in thick, black letters.  I tried to keep them even, too.  Under Cons I had, "Can't walk out my front door, get in my car and drive anywhere I want."  Under Pros, though, I had, "Can walk out my front door and walk to a multitude of shops and other things."  Other things like, "Can't have a burger and a fountain diet Coke at Wendy's" were harder to balance and I gave up.  It crossed my mind to actually sit down with a pen and paper and make a list, hoping that the Pros would outweigh the Cons but that really didn't seem like a very good idea.  Instead I continued on with my sulking crankiness.

Matt got the worst of it, I think.  I wrinkled my nose at anything he suggested that we do with his day off.  I believed myself when I told him to pick something and that I would go along with it happily.  I think I even flashed a smile.  Until he actually suggested something.  More nose wrinkling and finally I just crawled back in bed.  I didn't want to go out and be reminded that I live in an entirely different continent and yet I didn't want to stay home.  I wanted to clean and unpack yet those were also the absolute last things I wanted to do.  

I finally decided that laying in bed was about the worst way to deal with homesickness so I dragged myself out of bed and called up to Matt, "All right, let's go to Stourhead."

Unfortunately, we met a wall of dark clouds about ten minutes into the drive and decided a walk wasn't really such a great idea.  After a look at the map we decided to drive to Marlborough where we wandered around the shops.  I even came close to a fountain soda when I had a bottled diet Coke at Pizza Express where we talked about good things like Christmas and what kinds of traditions we wanted to start as a family.  

I know this isn't the last of my homesick days and the days I wake up feeling fine - when I wake up without thinking about the differences outside our front door - far outnumber the days of sulking crankiness; that's a fact that I need to keep in mind.  And I'm lucky to have an understanding husband.  I know I'm not fun to live with on these bad days.  I know even as I'm wrinkling my nose at suggestions for the day that I'm being difficult and I admit it freely with copious apologies.  He doesn't patronise me with statements like, "It'll get better," he just listens and lets me get through my mood no matter how long it lasts.  This morning he even suggested that I go home for Thanksgiving but that - surprise surprise - only merited more nose wrinkling from me.  Honestly, I have something better than an expensive ticket home for a short visit: I have a husband who is understanding and tolerant and I have him all of the time.  There's no longer a five hour time difference or unbearable 4,000 miles between us and I think that is worth more than a few rough days. 

Terrible Allergies are Making Me Use This Title

Yesterday we moved the seemingly unwieldy jumble of boxes from the conservatory to the spare bedroom.  Suddenly, they didn't seem so unwieldy at all.  It was as if each box shrunk as we carried it upstairs.  It just makes sense to have the boxes in a room where none of the contents are staying so that each box can be carried out and unpacked in its proper room.  Plus, I can just shut the door and pretend the boxes aren't there at all!

That also means we have the conservatory back.  After a little cleaning and decorating, it'll be nice to be able to sit at the table and have tea and Sunday papers.  And, seeing as how this is my first Thanksgiving as a married lady, I'd also like to make some sort of Thanksgiving dinner for us this year and having a proper dining room to eat in is kind of required. 

And, no, the irony of having my first married Thanksgiving in England is not lost on me.   

It's beginning to look and feel a little more like home around here.  There are new throws on the sofas and a vase of dahlias and I even unpacked my favorite piece of art and set it on the mantle.  

(an old photo because I hate the idea of a post without one)

Thank goodness I found a husband who didn't flinch at all when I asked he felt about this picture and if we could, maybe, at least temporarily anyway, hang it above the fireplace. 

Matt's doing an overnight at work again and I really wanted use this time to get a lot more done around here but an allergy attack has caused me to spend most of the evening reading Revolutionary Road (so good) and staring across the room in a hazy stupor.  That said, I'm going to bed early.  My mother-in-law and my sister-in-law. Ruth, who's down from Bath for a couple of days, are coming into town tomorrow morning and I'm going to meet them for a cup of tea and, I suspect, a little shopping.  Plus I'm oddly excited about getting a haircut tomorrow - it's been awhile.

Do you ever write a post and think, "Should I even bother to post this, for Pete's sake?"  Yeah, that's how I feel about this one but I'm going to publish it anyway. 

Huh, rather than "publish" I typed "pretty" (and fixed it, of course) - I need to go to bed. 

A Little Gray Cloud Day

I had my first strong "What have I done?!" day today.  Not in a bad way, just in a very homesick kind of way.  In the morning, Matt suggested we go to Stourhead since the weather was amazing and I suggested Longleat since it closes in a few weeks and I haven't been there before.  The little gray cloud lingering over my head, though, kept telling me to crawl back into bed and cover my head with the duvet.  If it had been a work day for Matt, that's probably what I would have done.

By the time I made the banana bread I'd obsessively woken up wanting to make (four over ripe bananas had been staring at me for several days), it was kind of too late to do the zoo or Stourhead so we actually ended up packing a bag of knitting, books, iPods and journals and driving not too far away to Stockbridge to shop a little bit with the idea of eventually finding a cafe to relax in for a bit.  That never really came to fruition but it was still a nice day.  Sure, I nearly burst into tears at Maison Blanc, a cafe in Winchester, but you'll have that.  Part of me was yearning to sit in an American restaurant - not a cafe.  In fact, we walked into a Costa and I had to admit I couldn't do Costa again and I love Costa.  Thankfully, I could at least have a cold diet Coke at Maison Blanc.  Finding a Cath Kidston shop wasn't too painful either and I picked up a really cute set of note cards.  There's something about living here that makes me want to send out real mail.  If you're interested in getting a little card from me and I don't already have your address - 'cause you lot are already going to get mail from me and a few of you already have something on the way - send it to me at sushichickATgmailDOTcom and eventually I'll send you a line or two.  :)

Anyway, being out and about was probably better than sulking at home but, at the same time, it really reminded me how different things are here.  My mood certainly perked up a little bit when we got back because once you've decided a place is home, it's home - even though I have days where even being here with all the boxes is overwhelming.  Of course, baking cookies and opening a bottle of wine didn't hurt either.  Yes, banana bread and cookies in one day. The looming PMS wasn't really doing me any favors.

I know it'll take awhile before days like this are non-existent.  And I'm sure tomorrow will be much better.  I'm really looking forward to Thursday, too, as fellow Raveler, Squiblet, has offered to meet up with me for some tea, wandering, knitting or whatever.  I love my husband and the fact that we actually live in the same country now but it'll still be great to have a little girl time.  

I had a post ready for today full of photos from our drive through the New Forest yesterday but my mood just didn't match and I want to "keep it real, yo."  This blog is about learning to live in a new country, after all and it's not all days out exploring and fun - it's hard.  I miss my friends and family.  I could even really do with a Buddy hug right now, to tell you the truth (why does that, of all things I've thought about while writing this post, make tears well up in my eyes, for Pete's sake?).  I miss the way things have always been and where and how I've lived for the past 35 years.  It's almost like being at home some times - a nudge away - but also just not like home at all.  I have to make myself deal with it, though, by being aware of it, talking about it, having an understanding husband and knowing that it won't hurt like this all the time.  

And nothing beats a good night's sleep (and maybe one last glass of wine)....

Spending Time in Town

It's a beautiful day in Salisbury today - made even more beautiful by the fact that it rained, nonstop, yesterday.  After a little housework, I packed up my knitting bag and headed out to spend the afternoon wandering around town.   The key word there is "wander."  Thankfully I discovered today that if I wander around long enough I'll eventually find what I was looking for which, in this instance, was Paperchase.  

The girl in me that still loves when stores start putting out school supplies, who would love to dive in to a swimming pool full of crayons, loves Paperchase.  It's full of cute notebooks, stickers, cards and fun little things that you really don't need but have to have.  After picking out a handful of cards and a couple of packs of stickers, I wandered around a little more until I found Starbucks, bought a cafe mocha (which, unlike Starbucks in the US, they give to you in a real mug if you're "staying in") and headed upstairs.

Despite all of the wandering, I really am feeling a little more confident.  Being out and about by myself felt really good today.  I even found myself paying for things with more than just notes and one pound coins.  I know that sounds absolutely silly but I'm still learning what each coin is worth and if you're behind be in line you might be waiting for awhile as I look for 2p.  I'll figure it out eventually, though.

After writing a few cards and finishing my coffee, I picked up a soda and a chocolate bar and headed home via the cathedral (even though that means crossing a busy street to get home - I had to walk past our flat by a block to get to a crosswalk because I don't feel confident enough to cross on my own yet).

This was the view from my bench where I wrote a few more cards and wished I had either finished the pair of fingerless mitts I started knitting back in August or that I had unpacked my outer wear box and found the ones Kim made for me back in the days of the first Knitters Hunk.  It's sunny and warm here but a bit chilly on the extremities. 

In the past I've lived across the street from a shopping center at best so it's utterly amazing that I live across from something like the cathedral. 

Just gorgeous.  

 

I also took a photo of what Matt has always called The Giant Button.   I don't know what it really is and refuse to find out until I have to (i.e. when Mom and Dad come to visit in March or April).  

As always, time has gotten away from me and my stomach, which is more used to the time change than the part of my brain that tells me when to go to sleep and when to wake up, knows it's way past lunch time....

Meeting New People, Seeing New Things & Being Out and About On My Own

I felt a little overwhelmed yesterday for the first time.  I really thought I would stay in "oh, I'm on vacation" mode for at least a week but, no, I woke up grumpy and a little...off.  Thank goodness for understanding husbands and happy pills.  I had actually forgotten to take mine for a couple of days which, I'm sure, didn't really help with the feeling of being overwhelmed. 

Some Sunday I'll take a photo of the Sunday papers here because the papers in the States just do not compare.  We picked up three yesterday and spent the morning relaxing in bed - my favorite way to spend a Sunday.  My original idea was to walk over to Starbucks by myself to meet the knitting group but I'd yet to go in to town alone and my mood wasn't exactly ideal for meeting new people so Matt and I walked over just so that I could say hi and meet everyone.  And by everyone I mean lots of people - for you Daytonians, it reminded me a lot of the early, crowded Brown Street days but with more seating.  Anyway, it was nice to finally put faces to Ravelry names and I really, really can't wait for the next meet up.

After Starbucks we drove out to Matt's favorite walk, Pepperbox Hill.  It was a little gloomy yesterday but I snapped a few photos as we walked up the ridiculously steep hill, around and back down again.

The cathedral, which is right across the street from our flat - I can see the spire from the window here on the third floor - is near the center there, a bit to the left.

 

 

 

This is the path back down Pepperbox Hill and the road that leads back to Salisbury.  

There's a folly here as well but we saved that for another visit.

So I mentioned that my original plan yesterday was to go in to town by myself but, when you get right down to it, I chickened out, right?  Well, I walked to the grocery alone today!  I have to admit, I took the long way at first to avoid crossing the road and then only crossed the road when the signal said it was okay or if someone else was crossing because I still can't get used to looking in a new direction and I'm sometimes not even sure where a car might be coming from.  Silly, I know.  I'm a bit paranoid, too, and felt like everyone could peg me as a non-native - especially the check out lady at Tesco who took a good long look at me more than once which made me feel like I was doing something wrong.  Even though the language is the same, things here really are very different.  And, of course, I completely forgot the diet Coke I walked there for but I did get the makings for salsa and veggie burgers for lunch tomorrow so it wasn't a complete failure.  

Anyway, lots to do.  One more box and the kitchen is completely unpacked!