Further Proof That I Cannot Read Directions

I gave the Pavlova (I can't find the individual recipe I used) a test run last week and they turned out tasty.  The meringue wasn't as thick as I thought it should be but I'm pretty sure that was because I forgot to turn the oven on before I started up the blender so it had to sit for a bit before the oven was ready. 

Since I had some leftover strawberries and a kiwi, I decided to make a second batch last night.  This time I remembered to turn the oven on.  I measured my vinegar and egg whites into the bowl and set the bowl a blendin'.  The result was beautiful!  It just whipped up in no time, white and fluffy.  I dipped my finger in to check for peaks and when I placed said finger in my mouth I was met by a shocking, bitter surprise.  The meringue was...vinegary.

So I checked my recipe and can you guess what I did?  Even though I'd already made the damn things once?

I had added 1/4 cup of vinegar when the recipe called for 1/4 teaspoon. 

At least this mistake made me laugh.  The night before I'd gotten the steps mixed up in a spaghetti carbonera recipe and mixed the Parmesan cheese into the cream/egg mixture while it was still just raw eggs and cream rather than cooked in with the ham and I felt overwhelmingly defeated.  But this one was funny.  Thank goodness.

So I started again and when I was finished I checked the oven which had been heating up to 250 for at least an hour...and it wasn't hot enough.  I hate my oven.  Usually it's hotter than the thermometer reads (hence the slightly burnt chicken barbeque pizza we had for dinner which also left me feeling a bit defeated).  I even bought a new oven thermometer thinking that my old once was the culprit.  Nope.  It wavers between 50 to 100 degrees hotter than what the thermometer reads and it's never consistent.  I don't think the oven ever got up to 250 because the Pavlovas never really got crunchy on the outside.  They were still tasty but they lacked that marshmallow roasted over the fire taste. 

Rick asked me last night if I was a bad cook.  No, I'm just a cook with an unreliable oven who can't read directions.  I don't think that makes me a bad cook.  At least he likes my salads (which, of course, require no reading and no stove).  He thinks I have salad talent because I chop everything into tasty bite-sized morsels and use the best dressing (Paul Newman's Sun Dried Tomato - it really is wonderful).  Like this is something no one else ever does or possibly could do. 

Of course, I'm not going to let on that this isn't true.  I very obviously have some faults I have to make up for, after all.

Comments

[Mary]

I have been through all of that and know exactly how you feel. At least you get to try different recipes. My husband is so picky. The most extravagent thing I have made for him in 10 years has been bacon wrapped shrimp!

[Bertha]

1/4 CUP?! Oh man, hahahah! Sorry to laugh at your culinary misfortunes, but...it is pretty funny :)

[Kim]

Everything about Paul Newman is wonderful.

Sorry. . . We were talking about food?

[dharma]

Oh my that is a funny mistake. We will have to cook together sometime.
I also think I know what I'm getting you for a present, you know one day when I have money.